How to document workplace harassment without overstating it

To document workplace harassment, write a dated note for each incident that describes exactly what was said and done, where it happened, and who was present, using plain words rather than labels. Write it as soon as you can, ideally the same day, and save any messages or emails connected to it.

Avoid writing conclusions such as 'he harassed me' or 'she is a bully' in the note itself. A reviewer can only weigh what you saw and heard. Describe the impact on you in practical terms, such as lost sleep or days missed, and keep medical details to the minimum you are comfortable sharing.

When something at work leaves you shaken, the words that come first are usually the ones that name how it felt: humiliating, threatening, abusive. Those feelings are real and worth recording. The difficulty is that a note made only of labels gives a reader nothing to check. 'He was inappropriate again' could describe a joke, a touch, a message or a look.

Whether conduct meets a legal or policy definition of harassment is a question for whoever reviews it under the rules that apply to your workplace. Your note does its job best when it gives that person the raw material: the words, the actions, the setting, the frequency. Precise description also protects you. If the other person later says it was a misunderstanding, a specific note made the same day is much harder to set aside than a general complaint.

Give yourself a few minutes somewhere private, on your own device, and work through these steps. Short is fine. You can add detail later, as long as you mark what was added and when.

1. Write the date, the approximate time, and the date and time you are writing the note, if different.
2. Name the place: the break room, a video call, a client site, the parking lot, a group chat.
3. Identify the person whose conduct you are describing by role, such as the shift supervisor or a senior colleague on another team.
4. Describe what they said, using their exact words in quotation marks only where you are sure of them, and paraphrase the rest.
5. Describe what they did: gestures, physical contact, how close they stood, whether they blocked a doorway, what they sent.
6. Write what you said or did in response, including if you said nothing or left.
7. List who else was present or nearby, by role.
8. Note any record that exists: a message, an email, a calendar entry, a door log, a photo of a note left on your desk.
9. Add a separate line for how it affected you that day.

If you notice a label in your draft, ask what you saw or heard that led you to that word, and write that instead. A few common substitutions:

• Instead of 'he screamed at me', write 'he raised his voice so that people at the next desks turned around, and said I was useless.'
• Instead of 'she made a racist comment', write the comment itself as closely as you can recall it, and the context in which it was said.
• Instead of 'he keeps touching me', write each occasion separately: 'put his hand on my lower back while passing behind my chair, about 3 p.m.'
• Instead of 'they are freezing me out', write the specific events: 'not included in the project kickoff invite sent to the other four analysts on March 4.'
• Instead of 'he threatened me', write the words used and what made them feel threatening, such as tone, distance or what he was holding.

Offensive words can be hard to write down. You are recording them because they were said, not repeating them, and a reviewer usually needs the actual words to understand what happened. If writing them is too much on a particular day, note that the words were said and come back to it.

Here is an invented example written the way this guide suggests: 'Thursday, May 14, about 4:40 p.m. Written the same evening at 8:15 p.m. Place: supply room on the second floor. Person: the team lead from the neighbouring department. While I was getting printer paper, he stood in the doorway and said, 'You always come in here when I'm around, don't you.' I said I needed paper and asked him to move. He stepped aside about halfway, so I had to pass close to him. No one else was in the room. A coworker from my team was at the desk outside the door and looked up as I left. No messages were involved. Afterwards I went back to my desk and did not go to the supply room again that day.'

The note never uses the word harassment, and it does not need to. It records what happened, what was said, the setting and a possible witness, and it shows the note was written within hours.

Record everyone who saw or heard part of an incident, by role, even if you are not sure what they noticed. Someone who only saw you leave the room upset can still help place the event in time. Note where each person was and what they could likely have seen or heard, and keep this in a simple people list so the same roles are used consistently across your notes.

You do not need to collect written statements from coworkers or ask them to take sides, and doing so can put strain on them and on you. Noting who was present is usually enough for anyone reviewing the situation to know who might be asked later. If a coworker mentions something relevant to you on their own, write down what they said and when, the same way you would note anything else.

How an incident affected you is part of the record, and it is easy to either leave it out or say far more than you need. A practical approach is to write observable effects with dates, and to keep diagnoses and treatment details out of your own notes unless you have a reason to include them.

• Sleep: 'slept about four hours the night after the meeting.'
• Attendance: 'took a sick day on May 15', with a reference to the absence record if you have one.
• Changes at work: 'started taking lunch at my desk to avoid the break room.'
• Appointments: 'saw my doctor on May 18', without diagnosis or medication.
• Costs: parking moved, a cancelled shift, a counselling fee, with receipts referenced in your records list.

Medical records belong with your health provider. If someone reviewing your situation later needs more, they can tell you what and why, and you can decide then.

Much of what people experience now happens in text: workplace chat, direct messages, comments on shared documents, texts after hours, social media. Save these in a way that keeps the date, time and sender visible, such as a screenshot that includes the header or an exported PDF of the email. Note where the original lives, for example a company chat channel you may lose access to.

Keep to what was sent to you or shared in spaces you were part of. Logging into someone else's account, forwarding confidential company material to yourself, or recording conversations in ways that may not be lawful where you live can create serious problems of their own. If you are unsure whether something is appropriate to keep, ask a lawyer or legal clinic before acting.

Whether, when and how to report is your decision, and it often helps to talk it through with a lawyer, legal clinic or union representative first. It still helps to know the general landscape. Inside the workplace, there is often a harassment or respectful workplace policy naming who receives reports, such as HR, a designated person or a union. Your notes are useful whichever route you take, including none.

Outside the workplace, Canada has a federal human rights commission and provincial and territorial human rights agencies, and the Canadian Human Rights Commission's find help page points to both. For federally regulated workplaces, Canada's federal guidance describes a notice of occurrence that a victim or a witness can give to the employer. In the United States, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission describes harassment as a form of employment discrimination under federal law, and many states and cities have their own agencies. Which body applies depends on where and for whom you work, and time limits apply, so check the official pages or ask a qualified reviewer.

What if I did not write anything down at the time? Write it now, and say so. A note that reads 'written on June 2 about events in early April, from memory' is honest and still useful, especially if you can tie it to messages, calendar entries or other dates.

Should I include my own mistakes or reactions I regret? Yes. If you swore back or walked out, note it plainly. Leaving it out tends to surface later and makes the rest of the record look selective.

Can small incidents matter if each one seems minor? Many situations are made of repeated small events. Recording each one separately, with dates, is what lets a reviewer see frequency. Whether the pattern meets any definition is for them to assess.

Is it safe to keep these notes on my work phone? Generally it is better to keep them on a personal device and account you control, since employer systems may be monitored and access can end suddenly. Do not move confidential employer files to personal accounts to do this.

SteadyFile gives each incident a dated entry with guided prompts for what happened, where, who was present by role and what was said, phrased neutrally so the note describes rather than labels. A people list keeps roles consistent across entries, and messages or receipts go into a records index with IDs you can link from each incident. You can start a private workplace file free in the browser at app.steadyfile.com, on your phone right after something happens or on a computer later, with no account needed to begin. With an account, entry creation times and edit history stay visible. Your employer has no access, and SteadyFile organizes your record without judging it or telling you what to do next.